It’s hard being a caregiver for someone who struggles with addiction, an illness, or another issue. That’s why it’s easy to want to help them in any way you can, and you should. But there’s a fine line between helping and enabling.
The latter can do more harm than good by making it harder for your loved one to face their problems and find solutions independently. Be it with those you care for, such as family, friends, or Melbourne escorts, enabling is not good.
When Is It Not Right To Help
Enabling is when you help your loved one with a problem instead of helping them face it. It can be hard to know when you’re enabling, but there are some signs. Like if a person has a drinking problem and they ask you for money to buy a bottle and you give it without question, this is enabling and won’t help them get better.
You might be enabling if you make excuses for the other person, like saying that a person is just stressed instead of recognizing that he has an anger problem. It is also enabling when you do things for them that they could do themselves, such as doing their laundry because they’re too lazy.
The Person Will Become Overly Dependent
Enabling can help your loved one feel cared for and less alone, but it also makes them dependent on you to solve all of their problems. They know that you’re there for them, and they don’t have to worry about solving their problems on their own because you’ll take care of it for them.
This can be really helpful in the short term, but over time it can lead to a cycle of dependency in which your loved one relies on you so much that they never learn how to solve their own problems.
An Enabler Might Not Be Aware That They Are Doing So
You may be enabling a friend, loved one, or partner in your relationship. If you’re enabling someone else in their own addiction or behavior that is harming them or others around them, then it’s time to stop.
Enabling is a popular way to help people we care about, but it can also hinder the person from growing by taking away responsibility for solving their own problems. This will lead to resentment in your partner or friend because they feel like they can’t do anything without you around. If they don’t do anything themselves, then nothing will ever change.
If you’re concerned that you may be enabling, think about what additional burdens you take on. Are most of someone’s problems becoming yours?
Are you doing things for them that they could do themselves, such as making their bed and cooking meals? Do you give someone money when they will spend it for vices or continue to house them when they don’t have a job or even look for one?
You have to reflect to see the ways in which enabling might be hurting your relationship. The best thing you can do for yourself and your loved one is to start facing problems together, even if that means letting them face them alone.